高考英语语法:高中英语语法-学生习作点评

学生习作点评

一、习作要求

假设你是学校广播台英文节目的编辑，请按照下面图画所示内容，用英语写一篇广播稿，向同学们介绍在发生禽流感疫情的情况下应采取的一些预防措施。

注意：

1、 广播稿须包括图画的主要内容，可以适当增减细节，使内容连贯；

2、 词数100左右；开头语已为你写好；

3、 参考词汇：禽流感bird flu

It is reported that bird flue has broken out in parts of the world and therefore it is very important for us to know how to protect ourselves against it. The following are some dos and don’ts suggested by experts.

二、学生习作

… Don’t go sightseeing in every① place where the disease has been discovered. Keep out of ② animals such as ducks，hens，cocks and geese，which is③most likely to get affected by the disease. If you want to buy them from the market，do remember checking④that they are safe enough from the disease. What’s more，make sure that the food such as chicken is well cooked under⑤ a high temperature. Don’t forget to open the doors and windows regularly in order to keep the air inside fresh and clean. So as to⑥ keep fit，we should take more exercise and have a good rest every day. If we take some proper measures as experts suggested⑦，bird flu can be prevented successfully.

三、习作点评

1.优点：本篇习作者能认真审题，从而根据习作要求正确使用了人称及其动词时态。审图仔细准确，理清了人物与时空、画面与画面以及要点与发挥之间的关系。能根据图画内容，适当发挥，运用较为流畅 的语句，准确表达了文章的主体内容。

文中作者尽量使用了一些较为高级的句子结构，特别是多处定语从句的使用，如…… where the disease has been discovered；…… which are most likely to get affected by the disease等，以及过渡性词语的使用，如what’s more，使得文章更具有可读性和得体性。不失为一篇佳作。

2.不足之处：该习作也存在一些习语、短语动词、词语等误用方面的错误。望习作者今后注意克服这些方面的不足。

3.错误修正：

①every改为any.此处语气强调，any place意为“任何地方”，而every place为笼统概念，意为“所有地方”，表达不准确。

②Keep out of改为Stay / Keep away from.短语keep out of意为“不牵涉进去”，意义表达不准确。

③is改为are.关系代词which在此引导定语从句，用作从句的主语，其先行词为复数名词animals，故 谓语动词应用复数形式。

④checking改为to check.remem ber doing…意为“记得过去做过某事”，而remember to do…… 意为“记 住要做某事”。

⑤under改为at.“以……温度（速度、价格等）”常用介词at搭配。

⑥So as to改为To或者 In order to.so as to引导目的状语不可置于句首。

⑦suggested改为have suggested.此处强调动作对现在的影响及其产生的结果，而不是表示过去发生的事情。

搜狐教育社区