出国留学网

目录

BEC写作解析:这封邮件有何不妥

字典 |

2017-01-03 17:37

|

【 liuxue86.com - 商务英语 】

  小伙伴们一起来看看出国留学网英语栏目的小编为大家带来的“BEC写作解析:这封邮件有何不妥”吧~希望对大家有所帮助哦!

  首先看一看这篇邮件请找出其中的问题,然后试着改一改呢~

  From: A@rightway.com

  Date: 25:7:1-16:06:29

  To: B@rightway.com

  Subject: REMINDER!!!

  John

  Appreciate if you would consider and bear in mind that I am no longer responsible for dealing with petty cash. Some of your staff keep bringing their vouchers to me, but this responsibility has been taken over by Martin in Accounts, he is the one who should be contacted henceforth for all petty cash matters.

  Your cooperation is appreciated in making sure all your staffs know about this.

  BRgs/Sally

  下面,试着指出其中的问题~

  Subject: REMINDER[a1] !!!

  John

  Appreciate [a2] if you would consider and bear in mind[a3] that I am no longer responsible[a4] for dealing withpetty[a5] cash. Some ofyour staff[a6] keep bringing their vouchers to me, but this responsibility has been taken over by Martin in Accounts, [a7] he is the one who should be contacted henceforth [a8] for all petty cash matters.

  Your [a9] cooperation is appreciated in making sure all your staffs [a10] know about this.

  BRgs[a11] /Sally

  [a1]这里记得遵循SMART原则。

  [a2]措辞唐突生硬,有种趾高气扬的嚣张气焰...这篇信函是ask for cooperation,所以语气更应诚恳和气。同时应该加上明确的主语。

  [a3]虽然用的是would,但其实与“你必须记住!”无异。 [a4]这里也比较无礼。

  [a5]猜测写信人有可能是升值或者换岗位了,所以不负责现金兑换的事宜。但是语气很高傲…蔑视了之前的这份工作。

  [a6]这句话的语气更是,把责任推给了收信人。

  [a7]此处应用句号。注意两句完整的句子之间应该加连词,如and 或者but;或者使用分号连接两个相对的完整句子。

  [a8]这个词比较过时,传达的意义比较模糊。

  [a9]结尾比较唐突。 [a10]Staff不能加s

  [a11]此处为Regards,省略后不礼貌。

  然后尝试改写看看

  Subject: Sally’s Job Transfer

  Dear John

  Have you heard about the job transfer in our department? Now, I am dealing with other accounting problems arising in our current project, so Martin in Accounts will be responsible for the matters related with vouchers and what I previously did.

  I would appreciate it if you communicate this message to your staff.

  Thank you!

  Best wishes

  Sally

  商务英语栏目推荐:

  2016商务英语高分经验谈

  商务英语全方位备考策略

  详解商务英语口语得分要点

  2016商务英语中级应试技巧分享

  商务英语中级考试高分经验分享

  想了解更多商务英语网的资讯,请访问: 商务英语

本文来源:https://english.liuxue86.com/e/3066146.html
延伸阅读
想从事商务英语相关工作的同学们,无论处在职业发展的任何阶段,BEC剑桥商务英语证书都将祝您一臂之力,小编为你提供“2019年5月湖北BEC商务英语报名时间”希望能帮到你哦~湖北省2
2019-01-10
一定有不少人喜欢记录一些学习必备的案例吧,以举一反三的形式,写在相关试题里,小编为你整理了“2019年商务英语考试中级写作案例”,可供您参考,希望在考试中能帮助到你,一起来看看吧~
2019-01-10
考商务英语常用的词汇量可不能少,小编为你提供了2019年商务英语常用词汇两个方面,在考试前多记记词汇还是有很大用处的,一起来看看小编为你准备的商务英语常用词汇吧,希望能帮到你考出优
2019-01-10
商务英语始终面对的是工作方面商务谈判、介绍与招待、商讨价格等等,在考试中也会有实战题,看看小编为你准备的商务英语实战吧,希望能帮到你考出优异的成绩。商务英语实战:商务谈判4人组第一
2019-01-10
考试栏目组小编为您准备了“湖南省2019年5月商务英语报名时间及入口”,方便你报名。更多有关内容,请继续关注网站,小编会持续为你更新。湖南省2019年5月商务英语报名时间及入口根据
2019-01-10